"What was the happiest moment of your life?" “I don’t know.” “What was the saddest moment of your life?” “I don’t know.” “What’s your best quality?” “I don’t know.” “What’s your worst quality?” “Indecisiveness.”
"Moe was a doctor, but we were the least medicated family in New York. He was very against prescription drugs, and very passionate about the benefits of veganism. Even though he was a doctor, he was always very wary of the healthcare industry. He thought the whole system was sustained by sickness, not health. He said there was little interest in curing patients, and little interest in killing patients, because everyone made their money off long-term illnesses sustained by drugs. Moe never charged his patients more than $5 per visit. Millionaires and homeless people paid the same price. For 30 years, he never once raised his prices. The IRS always thought our family was hiding money, because they didn’t believe a doctor could make so little."
"I’m just a fat guy sitting in the cold." “Why are you sitting in the cold?” “I’m waiting to go to work. I work an overnight security job. I live in Philly, but I take the bus up here and stay for four days each week. I can’t find work in Philly and I’ve got two kids.” “Where do you sleep?” “Starbucks, McDonalds, anywhere I can take a quick nap.”